I'm Pregnant!
I first knew, because I wasn't having any symptoms.
Perhaps I should start earlier.
My Lovely and I were trying for a child since December. I then had just finished the long process of getting off of my medications in order to safely have and carry a baby.
I wasn't on anything crazy intense, just certain medications that I personally didn't want to be on with a baby growing. While the brands I was on rarely affected the child, and then usually only in the third trimester, I really didn't want to risk it, and I was on such low doses at the time, that I really felt it a good decision.
So, off the meds and being watched carefully by both Doctors and My Lovely, I was doing well. While I of course had certain things to deal with and changes had to be made, I was making it through.
Every time I was due for Shark Week (aka aunt Flo, aka moon sickness, aka menstruating monster, aka cycle sickness - you get the idea) I would get symptoms that I was always sure were signs of pregnancy. Turns out, off my meds that I had been on for years, my signs of Shark Week exactly modeled what early signs of pregnancy looked like. Bad body. I didn't need that.
Then, one month I didn't have any of the symptoms. I was relieved, but didn't think much of it. That month was crazy. We had relatives visiting from out of town, Family drama was escalating (helped by Spawn), and we just found out that we were moving. I wasn't thinking of counting days and stressing about what kept not happening.
I wasn't showing symptoms. At least not the ones I was looking for.
I started sleeping a lot. And I mean A LOT. I could only be awake for a handful of hours before I was nodding off again. It didn't matter what I was doing. I was suddenly unable to think or function until I took a nap. Then I was sleeping even longer each nap. My Lovely was getting worried.
Looking back, I was also very emotional. But because of the stress and drama that was happening at the time, it all seemed very reasonable while I was feeling it.
Said every hormonal train wreck of emotion that ever emoted.
Finally, I realized that I was near Shark Week. I told myself I wasn't going to test until I was at least a week late.
But, lets be honest, I have absolutely no self control. I tested early.
And it was a strong positive.
I screamed and cheered and went in and woke Lovely to tell him. He was happy, if half asleep.
I wanted to call everyone and share in my freak out.
But Lovely is more rational than I am, even while he was half asleep, and made me promise to go get a Doctor's confirmation test before I told anyone. So I did.
Because Lovely has to sleep days because he works graves, I walked myself down to the Doctor's office, and got the confirmation. I was ecstatic. I called, but he was asleep, so I left a text that we were in fact With Spawn.
I knew I wasn't going to be able to sit at home while he slept and stay quite and calm in order to let Lovely sleep. So I went over to some friends of ours. I only told them and one sister, while we made plans of how we were to announce.
Now, I know there is a lot of controversy about when to announce a pregnancy. It is either immediately, or waiting until the end of the first Trimester. Those who wait do so mainly because the risk of miscarriage is very high so early, and they feel it is safer to wait. Those who do not wait do so because happy news is happy news, and if a loss does happen, if people know they can mourn with them.
I decided to announce 'early'. Because if a loss does happen, I am going to be a mess, I know I will, and I don't want people impatient and wondering why I am so upset and angry all the time, and thinking it is just because I went off medication. Really, it is so people will understand and be sensitive, and not give me attitude about my attitude while I am heartbroken.
Also, I can't keep my own happy news to myself. I'm so excited, and I want to share the experiences I have.
We announced by having my Sissy-Poo, who is a photographer, take a photo of Lovely unwrapping a gift that is a mug saying "Best DAD Ever" on it. I love the photo, and I put it all over the inter-webs.
Some people understood at once. Others didn't get it, even after all the comments of "congrats" started coming in. When I go subtle, sometimes it is too subtle, and no one even sees what I'm doing. I need to work on that.
My first ultrasound is in just under two weeks. Between then and now, Lovely is starting a new semester at university, we are moving across town, trying to get on WIC and Medicaid, and I need to pack and clean our apartment top to bottom. While I am so tired, and starting to feel the queasy and cravings. There is a lot going on. But I am very excited for this journey.
More updates will come as we know them.
P.S. Some people are upset that we are referring to our unborn child as Spawn. We think it is funny. And, if you think about it, accurate. We are in fact Spawning another life. Also, we need something to called it before we know the gender. Some people call the baby Bean or Blueberry or Nugget, or all sorts of other things. I think calling a baby an edible is far stranger than Spawn. So, on this blog the baby will most likely be called Spawn, or 4.1 after a sort of joke my Daddy has running. Don't take offense. We just think we are clever.
Smile Always.
Congratulations :)
ReplyDeleteThank you so much!
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